Garfield Birthday Card
1) I eat too much because I'm depressed, and I'm depressed because I eat too much. It's a vicious circle... that took years to perfect! 2) All I do is eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. Eat and sleep. There must be more to a cat's life than that. But I hope not. 3) Good times are ahead ! Or behind. Because they sure aren't here. 4) I am hungry. Therefore I am. 5) If you are patient...and wait long enough...Nothing will happen ! 6) This is it. I've reached the pinnacle of laziness and gluttony... How depressing. There's no place to go after you've reached the top. 7) You know what is a "diet" is, don't you? It's "die" with a "t," that's what it is!
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