Simpsons Birthday Card
Message 1 - A big mountain of sugar is too much for one man. I can see now why God portions it out in those little packets.
Message 2 - No matter how good you are at something, there's always about a million people better than you.
Message 3 - I want to shake off the dust of this one-horse town. I want to explore the world. I want to watch TV in a different time zone. I want to visit strange, exotic malls...I want to live, Marge! Won't you let me live?
Message 4 - Trying is the first step towards failure.
Message 5 - Oh, Marge, cartoons don't have any deep meaning. They're just stupid drawings that give you a cheap laugh.
Message 6 - No, no, no, Lisa. If adults don't like their jobs, they don't go on strike. They just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way...
Message 7 - Lisa - Bart, having never received any words of encouragement myself, I'm not sure how they're supposed to sound. But here goes: I believe in you.
Message 8 - All right, brain, you don't like me, and I don't like you, but let's just get me through this, and I can get back to killing you with beer.
Message 9 - Donuts. Is there anything they can't do?
Message 10 - I want to share something with you: The three little sentences that will get you through life. Number 1: Cover for me. Number 2: Oh, good idea, Boss! Number 3: It was like that when I got here.
Message 11 - Grandpa: "You remind me of a poem that I don't know, a song that may not even exist, and a place I'm sure I've never been to".